waiting

i am waiting

i might not look it from outside.

i function.

i socialise.

i eat, exercise.

i do my work and i play

but i am frozen.

i am waiting.

i expected my answer three weeks ago.

two weeks ago i felt sure i would know.

now i will hear in every

next.

moment.

i am waiting.

each day more certain it won’t be what i hope

though i can’t know what i hope

if i don’t

i am waiting.

i want to decide:

so i can say “i chose it.

i had the power.”

and stop waiting.

i am waiting.

maybe it will be good news.